As the holiday season comes and goes, it is important to remember that it is not a happy and idealized time for everyone. Often, the holiday season marks the trenches within our existence and sparks memories of what we have lost or failed to attain. These memories, and acknowledgement of losses in addition to the frustration of finding that our families are not as perfect and conflict-free as holiday songs suggest, can bring deep sadness or denial. These realizations can carry as through after the conclusion of the holidays.
We may be tempted to deny conflict or ignore the sadness that may arise from remembering losses and it is important that we allow ourselves to feel these emotions in order to proceed mindfully each day. The key to managing difficult and painful emotions is to be able to allow ourselves to feel them, process them, understand them, speak about them and contain them.
A healthy mind is one that is able to love, work and play. A functional and productive life is achieved once a balance is met amongst these three different aspects of our life. The aftermath of the holiday season could bring feelings of loneliness and a perception of emptiness.
Here are a few tips that could make it easier for us to navigate through the aftermath of the holiday season:
- Acceptance: Radically accepting, processing and acknowledging the events of the holiday season can bring further insights into the families that we belong to. Acceptance is processing our lives without the need to judge anything as good, bad, pretty or ugly. Acceptance is freedom to see things as they are rather than as how ‘we want them to look like’.
- Connect with Others: People often feel loneliness as the holiday season concludes. It can feel difficult to re-engage in productive activities. Remember, humans have evolved to be complex social beings. Connect with others. A great way to combat loneliness is to make plans with others even though you may feel like isolating.
- Shift yourself from Feeling Lonely to Being Alone and Content: Keep in mind that practicing being alone is a great developmental skill. It makes us more reflexive and can provide the opportunity to become curious about ourselves. Sometimes, we equate being alone with feeling lonely which is untrue. As holiday plans dwindle, take the opportunity to learn what it is like to be with yourself, your thoughts, feelings and discomforts.
By: Agustina Jorquera, B.Sc., M.Ed. Psychotherapist